What core values are most important to you?
If you’re unable to answer this question off the top of your head, it likely means that you’ve done very little core values discovery work up to this point in your life, which is critical for learning how to stand in your power!
So why would you want to do core values discovery work?
Because in my opinion, knowing your core values is one of the best ways to stand in your power when it comes to 1) asking for what you need from others & 2) aligning to what’s most important & meaningful to you in your life.
When I was younger, I didn’t know who I was or what I stood for which caused me a lot of struggle & grief in life.
If personal or professional conflict arose or happened with someone, I struggled to stay calm, cool & collected during difficult conversations & I felt really uncomfortable addressing issues that would arise.
In fact, this inability to stay calm, cool & collected made it very difficult for me to identify & ask for what I needed from others when a hard situation would arise, which made it hard for me to consciously & appropriately respond to the situations that made me feel uncertain or uncomfortable.
As a result, I became a chronic people-pleaser, over-achiever & self-doubter who avoided conflict whenever possible & tried to “fake it until I made it” most of the time.
And because I wasn’t being honest with myself or others, I began to feel deeply inauthentic most of the time.
On the outside, everyone thought I had all of my shit together but on the inside I found myself in self-doubt & uncomfortable in my own skin more often than not.
Can you relate to feelings of self-doubt & inauthenticity?
It wasn’t until I started working with a mentor in my late 30’s who specialized in core value discovery work that I started to better understand where that self-doubt & inauthenticity was coming from.
In fact, one of the things that helped me better understand who I was & what I stood for was taking stock & inventory of what was either missing or in place in the following situations:
Moment of rage & anger
Moments of shame & guilt
Moments of fear & doubt
Moments of courage & confidence
Moments of happiness & joy
Moments where I felt like I was standing on top of the world
By taking inventory of what was either missing OR in place during each of these lift scenarios, I began to see a common theme & pattern around the core values that were either in place or missing at each of these times of my life, which included the following core values:
Honoring through acknowledgment
And once I became clear on the core values that were uniquely important to me, spent some time defining what each of those values meant to me personally, & started practicing personal alignment to those values, I began to notice a shift in how I was showing up in the world…
I started to have more confidence in conversations that would’ve previously made me feel uncomfortable.
I started asking for my needs to be met in a way that honored all involved.
I started to more patience, compassion & empathy with myself & others.
I started speaking my truth instead of holding it in.
I started asking for what I needed in relationship & at work.
I started to follow through on my commitments to myself & to others.
I started looking for the gift in everything that came my way.
I started to treat others the way I wished to be treated in the world.
In fact, I was regularly practicing “being the change I wished to see in the world” which was a quote by Mahatma Gandhi that came to represent who & what I wanted to stand for.
And slowly, over time, I began be in alignment more & more often with all the core values I’d identified.
To this day those core values are deeply meaningful & important to me!
And since that time of my life, I’ve had other hard moments in time that have given me additional insight into other core values that are meaningful & important to me including:
Learning about who I really am & what I stand for has been life-changing!
In fact, having the skill to identify & know my core values has afforded me many benefits which include…
Clarity around what works & what doesn’t work in my life.
Being able to stand up for myself & others.
Being able to practice alignment to what I stand for in life.
Asking for what I need in a way that honors all involved.
Providing me what the road map for how to be the change I wish to see in the world.
And so much more!
So with this in mind, I’m curious…
Are you ready to better understand who & what YOU stand for in life?
If so, I have a few questions for you to consider that will help you lightly explore the answer to this…
- What’s ONE area of your life you’re currently struggling with?
- What are the core values that are either being honored, not being honored OR are missing altogether from this area of your life?
- Are YOU currently in alignment with all of these core values yourself & if not, what is it costing you?
- What are the benefits you’d receive if you practiced alignment to or requested that these core values be honored?
Hopefully, answering these questions will help you figure out how to ask for & align to the core values that are most meaningful to you through your actions, words & deeds!
And, if for some reason you have a difficult time figuring out your core values & need some support to stand in your power the way you desire, one of my specialties is helping you figure out how to be the change you wish to see in the world.
In fact, I created a self-rescue road map that includes deep-dive self-discovery of the core values that mean the most to you!
To learn more about this topic & to see how I can help support you in becoming your very own hero, simply take advantage of the following forms of self-rescue support I’m offering below:
- Join me live or catch the replay of this week’s self-rescue training that I lead every Wednesday at 11:30 am MT inside of my Brave-Hearted Woman Self-Rescue Community on Facebook where I’ll be sharing additional resources for how to use your core values to stand in your power!
- Sign up for a FREE Self-Rescue Toolkit that includes an Enneagram, Saboteur & Self-Care assessment to help you assess any fears, burnout or self-sabotage you might be struggling with & identify the self-rescue road map that will help you become your very own hero!
- Sign up for a FREE 15-minute Self-Rescue Assessment Call where we can assess your self-rescue needs one-on-one & identify any self-sabotage that might be holding you back in your own life.
I hope you find the above resources helpful & here’s to us ALL learning how to live, love, lead & work from a place of happiness, health, wealth & wholeness!
Jess Bonasso, also known as The Self Care Goddess, is a Brave Life Catalyst & Self-Rescue Coach, Author & Keynote Speaker who has been teaching worn out working wonder women how to master the art of self-rescue since 2007.
After unraveling at a cellular level the self-sabotage from her corporate-climbing 20’s & business-building 30’s that led her into burnout, breakdown & a proverbial midlife crisis, she created The Brave-Hearted Way, a self-rescue compass & road map to brave-hearted courage, authenticity & wholeness that empowers worn out working wonder women to live, love, lead & work in a way that leads to happiness, health, wealth & wholeness.
In addition to being the creator of The Brave-Hearted Way & a published co-author of Speaking Your Truth: Courageous Stories from Inspiring Women (Vol.2), Jess is also an accredited practitioner of The Journey Method®, a highly effective form of cellular trauma release therapy that can unravel at a cellular level the core fears, limiting beliefs & unhealthy behaviors that cause us to sacrifice our soul, sanity or health.
Be sure to follow Jess on social media where you’ll receive daily inspiration & support on how to heal & fuel your life so you can embrace your greatness on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, or LinkedIn! :)