Why Setting Boundaries Will Save You Pain, Time & Energy

Why Setting Boundaries Will Save You Pain, Time & Energy

On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being extremely easy), how easy is it for you to set boundaries with your time & energy?

And are there times where you find it difficult to set boundaries?

If I can be honest with you, my current rating for this question is probably at a level 9 right now which is actually MUCH higher than it would’ve been in my 20’s, 30’s & even my early 40’s!

That said, the longer I’ve lived & the more mistakes I’ve made throughout my life in how I spend my time & energy, the easier it is to remember what works & doesn’t work for me when it comes to setting boundaries. :)

In fact, as I’ve gotten older I’m happy to say that I’ve become much more discerning & picky about the people, tasks, partnerships, & experiences I allow into my life & into my space!


Mostly because the sheer amount of time & energy that was drained from me when I was younger because of the poor decisions I used to make in who & what I was spending my time & energy on!

And, here’s what I’ve also learned over the years…

If it drains you, it will eventually pain you.

That said, there are a lot of people out there that have to learn this lesson the hard way!

For myself personally, I am no longer interested in experiencing things the hard way & if you’re smart, I invite you to learn how to set boundaries too so that you don’t zap your energy or drain your body, mind & spirit like I used to!

In fact, instead of feeling drained & depleted I’d much rather experience the following…

More gentleness.

More presence.

More spaciousness.

More integrity.

More curiosity.

More ease.

More grace.

More respect.

More honor.

More compassion.

More time.

More energy.

More joy.

More excitement.

Ultimately, more of the GOOD stuff!!

In fact, I want to live, love, lead & work in a way that fuels & excites me (vs. drains & depletes me), which is exactly why it’s so important for all of us to become a badass at setting boundaries with our time & energy! J

You see…

For me in particular, I used to be a hardcore over-giver, over-achiever, & over-worker.

Can you relate?

Yep, that was me for years!

In fact, I used to chronically over-give, over-achieve & over-work until I realized that the reason I was stressed out, overwhelmed, angry & exhausted all the time was because I was saying YES to WAY too much & NO to myself more often than not.

The problem wasn’t my lack of self-care (although that certainly contributed to the issue!).

It was my inability to set boundaries with myself & others.

But you know what?

I’ve learned over the years that the benefits of setting boundaries consistently FAR outweighs the pain it causes & the time & energy it wastes when I’m not being a badass at boundary-setting.

Think about it…

If you’re not saying YES to everyone else all the time, you’ll have more time to take care of yourself, to recoup your energy & to do the things in life that excite & delight you!

And, something else that’s helped me along the way with setting boundaries is to discover…

What works for me

What doesn’t work for me

What fuels me

What drains me

What’s important to me

Who I am

What I stand for

What I desire

What I’m willing to fight for

What I’m willing to align to

In fact, the more clarity I’ve gotten on who I am & what I stand for over the years, it’s become even easier to set boundaries with my time & energy, which has saved me a tremendous amount of pain & suffering along the way!

You see…

Pain has a funny way of teaching us the hard way what to do & what not to do.  

And because I’ve been through some hard, painful experiences that have drained my energy throughout life, I’m committed now more than ever to owning my value, my happiness & my vision for wholeness! 

I’m also committed to that for you as well but you know what?

I can’t do it for you.

YOU are the one that has to choose that for yourself!

The good news?

Because of the pain & suffering I’ve gone through over the years, my purpose & mission in life now is to help as many worn out working wonder women as possible learn how to live, love, lead & work in a smarter way that doesn’t lead to the burnout & self-sacrifice that I experienced when I was younger.

So with this in mind, I have a question for you to consider…

Are there areas of your life where you feel drained or exhausted?

If yes, you would likely benefit from learning how to set boundaries in that area of your life!

And, if you’d like some support with learning how to do this, simply share an area of your life where you’re drained or exhausted in the comments below!

Perhaps I can help you plug that drain or eliminate that exhaustion. J

And to support you in learning this for yourself, I’ll also be diving into more deeply into how to set boundaries & plug energy drains over the next 2 weeks!

In fact, you can join me inside my Brave-Hearted Woman Self-Rescue Community on Facebook for a live self-rescue training the next 2 Wednesdays at 11:30 am MT & other powerful resources & opportunities for becoming your very own hero that will help you learn the following:

  • How to know when boundaries are necessary
  • The cost of not setting boundaries
  • How to set better boundaries
  • The benefits you’ll receive when you learn how to set boundaries like a badass

Hopefully, after answering the question above for yourself & learning more about this topic in the community over the next 2 weeks, you’ll realize what’s not working in your own life so that you can figure out how to live, love, lead & work in a smarter way on your own!

To stay in the loop on this topic, simply type “TAG ME” in the comments below & I’ll send you the details to join the group & I’ll tag you in the posts related to this topic throughout the next 2 weeks. :)

And finally, if you’re ready to become your very own hero & you’d like some support in mastering the art of self-rescue in any other area of your life, I also invite you to take advantage of the FREE gift that I’m offering below, from my heart to yours:

A FREE Self-Rescue Assessment Quiz + 15-Minute Phone Call

to help you assess the energy drains, inner saboteurs & personality patterns that are depleting you PLUS! you’ll receive access to a self-rescue road map, toolkit & adventure that will help you become your very own hero!

Simply click on the link above to sign up for this FREE gift & let me know if you found today’s topic & resources helpful & here’s to us ALL learning how to become badass at setting boundaries so we can live a life of brave-hearted courage, authenticity & wholeness! :)

Jess Bonasso, also known as The Self Care Goddess, is a Brave Life Catalyst & Self-Rescue Coach, Author & Keynote Speaker who has been teaching worn out working wonder women how to master the art of self-rescue since 2007.

After unraveling at a cellular level the self-sabotage from her corporate-climbing 20’s & business-building 30’s that led her into burnout, breakdown & a proverbial midlife crisis, she created The Brave-Hearted Way, a self-rescue compass & road map to brave-hearted courage, authenticity & wholeness that empowers worn out working wonder women to live, love, lead & work in a way that leads to happiness, health, wealth & wholeness.

In addition to being the creator of The Brave-Hearted Way & a published co-author of Speaking Your Truth: Courageous Stories from Inspiring Women (Vol.2), Jess is also an accredited practitioner of The Journey Method®, a highly effective form of cellular trauma release therapy that can unravel at a cellular level the core fears, limiting beliefs & unhealthy behaviors that cause us to sacrifice our soul, sanity or health.

Be sure to follow Jess on social media where you’ll receive daily inspiration & support on how to heal & fuel your life so you can embrace your greatness on FacebookTwitterYouTube, or LinkedIn! :)

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