Why Rejection Is Actually Redirection

Why Rejection Is Actually Redirection

Have you ever experienced feelings of rejection in your personal or professional life?

If yes, I would love to hear how that has affected you by sharing in the comments below! :)

For example, did you take it personal & feel like there was something wrong with YOU?

Or did you simply look at that rejection as an opportunity to redirect your energy & attention into healing how you might be abandoning & rejecting yourself?

Speaking for myself personally, I used to take it personal a LOT if someone rejected or abandoned me when I was younger.

In fact, someone rejecting me in relationship or my ideas in the work place often made me feel “less than” & caused me to question my value, my worth & even my lovability!

It wasn’t until I was faced with a physical health crisis in my early 30’s that I finally learned why others “rejecting” me made me so insecure & felt so personal.

You see….

At this time of my life, I was dealing with low back pain so bad I was considering surgery after trying for years to find a solution to the physical pain I’d been suffering from for so long.

And then one day, feeling angry & defeated about my life, an intuitive friend of mine who was doing Reiki (energy work) on me said that she was getting a really strong hit that my physical pain actually had more to do with anger toward my mother than it did the physical degeneration I’d been previously diagnosed with.

Say what?!

I’ll be honest… this sounded pretty hokey to me but at the end of our session together, she recommended I read a book called The Journey by Brandon Bays, which I promptly went out & bought so I could learn more.

While reading Brandon’s story of how she healed herself of a tumor the size of a small basketball in her uterus by uncovering & healing an old childhood memory of verbal abuse, abandonment & rejection at the hands of her mother, I paused & asked myself…

“What’s the very first traumatic memory I can recall?”

What came up was a memory at the age of 2 years old watching my parents argue in an escalated way that made my mom ran out of the room crying.

Feeling distraught & terrified about the conflict I had witnessed, I ran after her to be comforted & in her distress she told me to go away & leave her alone.

Boom! ????

All of a sudden, I realized that the younger me in that old scene & memory was traumatized with a deep-seated fear of abandonment & rejection from my mom that became hard-wired in my body & nervous system & got further reinforced when I went to live with my dad (instead of my mom) following the divorce.

In that moment of recollection, it became clear to me that my pervasive feelings of not fitting in or feeling supported throughout most of my childhood & the insecurities about my value & worthiness in my teenage years & throughout much of my 20’s was actually directly tied to this old memory of abandonment & rejection from my mother!

And in this awareness, I realized that what my intuitive friend said was true…

There was a part of me that had been unconsciously angry with my mom for abandoning & rejecting me for years!

Once I realized this at a conscious level, I knew how important it was for me to redirect that old focus of attention, belief system & anger in a more empowering direction.

I found a local Journey practitioner who could take me through the healing work that Brandon Bays had done to heal herself & did 2 sessions with her over the course of a weekend that helped me process, heal & shift my beliefs & reactions to that old pattern of abandonment & rejection.

During those 2 healing sessions, I came to the realization that my mother never meant to make me feel abandoned & rejected… she was just doing the best that she could with the awareness & resources she had during a time that was highly traumatic for her.

I also realized how I had been abandoning & rejecting myself for years with the limiting beliefs I’d been operating from around my value, my worth & my lovability and that my path of growth going forward was to learn how to unconditionally love & accept myself in all ways, flaws & all.

Because of this awakening & redirection, my back pain was almost all but gone in just 3 ½ weeks’ time following these powerful Journey sessions & from that moment forward, my life was forever altered & I became super passionate about personal growth & development so I could continue to heal & evolve going forward.

Fast forward to today…

I now believe that childhood experience, my physical back pain & the healing work that I did to heal my relationship with abandonment & rejection was divinely designed.


Because it taught me how to look at rejection in my external world as a mirror for what was actually happening in my internal world & how I was showing up with myself so I could begin to practice more love, compassion & empathy with myself.

It also helped me come to a deeper place of love, compassion & empathy for what my mother was going through at the time & instead of taking it personal, I now realize what a person is going through in any given moment is WAY more about them than it is about me.

So with this in mind, I have a question for you to consider…

Are you ready to redirect your own fears & feelings of abandonment & rejection into something that empowers (vs. disempowers) you?

If so, I invite you to share in the comments below your response to the following questions:

1. In what areas of your life have you felt abandoned or rejected by others?

2. Where in your own life do you abandon & reject yourself?

If after answering these questions you’d like to learn how to redirect your own fears of abandonment & rejection into an empowered path of growth, I invite you to type “TAG ME” in the comments below so you can tune into the live training posts that I’ll be leading over the next 2 weeks here in the Brave-Hearted Woman Self-Rescue Community on this topic.

I’ll be discussing how to use the Enneagram personality system to help you understand why you might be struggling with feelings of abandonment & rejection & share some practices you can incorporate that will help you heal those old fears so you can stop abandoning & rejecting yourself once & for all.

I hope you’ll join me in the discussion. :)

And, I hope you found today’s topic helpful & here’s to you living a life of brave-hearted courage, authenticity & wholeness! ❤

Jess Bonasso, also known as The Self Care Goddess, is a Brave Life Catalyst & Self-Rescue Coach, Author & Keynote Speaker who has been teaching worn out working wonder women how to master the art of self-rescue since 2007.

After unraveling at a cellular level the self-sabotage from her corporate-climbing 20’s & business-building 30’s that led her into burnout, breakdown & a proverbial midlife crisis, she created The Brave-Hearted Way, a self-rescue compass & road map to brave-hearted courage, authenticity & wholeness that empowers worn out working wonder women to live, love, lead & work in a way that leads to happiness, health, wealth & wholeness.

In addition to being the creator of The Brave-Hearted Way & a published co-author of Speaking Your Truth: Courageous Stories from Inspiring Women (Vol.2), Jess is also an accredited practitioner of The Journey Method®, a highly effective form of cellular trauma release therapy that can unravel at a cellular level the core fears, limiting beliefs & unhealthy behaviors that cause us to sacrifice our soul, sanity or health.

Be sure to follow Jess on social media where you’ll receive daily inspiration & support on how to heal & fuel your life so you can embrace your greatness on FacebookTwitterYouTube, or LinkedIn! :)

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