Why Conflict Resolution & Repair Matters

Why Conflict Resolution & Repair Matters

Have you ever been in conflict that you couldn’t work through with a friend, spouse, family member, client or co-worker?

If you have, you know how stressful, draining & distracting this can be!

So why does this matter when it comes to self-rescue?

Because, dear one, at the end of the day if you have unresolved conflict on a recurring basis with someone close to you it can lead to chronic stress, overwhelm, unhappiness & exhaustion… which are all beginning stages of burnout!

And if left unresolved, these stressors can eventually lead to physical, mental & emotional break down which is something I’m super passionate about helping you learn how to prevent.

And speaking from personal experience, I can tell you first-hand that living with someone you can’t work through problems or get along with is a recipe for disaster because not only will it stress you out & drain your energy stores but it will distract you from being effective in all the other areas of your life!

You see, dear one…

Recurring, unresolved conflict is a BIG RED FLAG about the health of that relationship.

Unless both parties can come together as a team & figure out how to identify, fix & correct the root cause of whatever problem is causing the conflict, the conflict will persist & eventually lead to the end of the relationship.

This is exactly why knowing how to facilitate resolution & repair when it comes to conflict is so very important!

But here’s the deal, dear one…

Most of us have not been appropriately taught how to prevent, manage or repair conflict effectively!

As you well know, there are a variety of books written on mastering the art of conflict resolution for this very reason.

One of the common themes I’ve seen across all the relationship books I’ve read on how to manage conflict is the importance of repair & resolution.

So how do you repair & resolve conflict?

I’ll give you a hint in TWO words.

CURIOSITY & RESPONSIBILITY

Think about it, dear one…

The root cause of most (not all) conflict is a disrespectful reaction, an inappropriate behavior, or an unmet need.

Because most of us are listening with the intention to “defend” ourselves from the person we’re in conflict with through close-minded curiosity, we become competitive in nature (i.e. WIN-LOSE).

With close-mind curiosity in place, both parties go unseen, unheard, & misunderstood which means that the disrespectful & inappropriate behavior continues, needs continue to go unmet, misunderstandings arise, escalation occurs & conflict goes unresolved because you’re now at each other’s throats!

Over time, this kind of interacting can lead to more defensiveness, disrespect, contempt, & withdrawal which kills the human spirit AND relationships.

If on the other hand, we’re listening to “understand” through open-hearted curiosity & open-ended questions we can begin to move toward an environment that’s WIN-WIN in nature.

Ultimately, this second kind of curiosity helps us better understand where the other person is coming from, what’s driving their behavior & why they feel the way they feel so that BOTH parties have a better chance of being seen, heard & understood, which gets to the heart of the problem & de-escalates the conflict.

It’s also more collaborative in nature & therefore, more effective for facilitating resolution & repair because once you’re able to understand the root cause of the problem, you’re in a much better position to:

  • Take responsibility for & apologize your own part in the problem
  • Arrive at an agreement & solution that’s WIN-WIN

Obviously, this is a high-level overview of how to practice CURIOSITY & RESPONSIBILITY but hopefully it gives you a different perspective on how to work toward repair & resolution during conflict going forward. :)

So with this in mind, I invite you to choose an area of your life where you’re in conflict with someone & consider following question…

How can I foster greater CURIOSITY with this person & take greater RESPONSIBILITY for my part in the conflict?

Hopefully by asking yourself this question, you’ll come up with some ideas on how to foster an environment that’s WIN-WIN & leads to resolution & repair of the conflict itself. :)

If after answering this question you struggle coming up with an answer OR you realize you’re in need of some self-rescue support when it comes to resolution & repair during conflict, I have a few additional forms of support I can offer:

  1. Join me live or catch the replay of tomorrow’s self-rescue training at 11:30 am MT inside of my Brave-Hearted Woman Self-Rescue Community on Facebook where I’ll be sharing additional resources for repairing & resolving conflict in your life as well some ideas on how to prevent conflict altogether! 
  2. Join my Brave-Hearted Sisterhood Membership Community FREE for the first 30 days to receive sisterhood, connection & support with any conflict you might be experiencing through weekly sisterhood circles with other high-reaching women who want to learn the art of self-rescue. 
  3. Sign up for a FREE 15-minute Self-Rescue Assessment to help you figure out the answer to the question above PLUS! identify a uniquely personalized solution for mastering curiosity & personal responsibility in all areas of your life. 

I hope you find the above resources helpful & here’s to us ALL learning how to resolve & repair conflict so we can live, love & lead from a place of brave-hearted courage, authenticity & wholeness! ❤️️

Jess Bonasso, also known as The Self Care Goddess, is a Brave Life Catalyst & Self-Rescue Coach who has been helping worn out working wonder women (& men too!) in need of self-rescue since 2007.

Are You In Need of a Self-Rescue? If over-working, over-giving or over-achieving is leading you into overwhelm, stress, exhaustion or unhappiness in life, you might be!

To learn how to work smart & live, love & lead in a brave-hearted way that fuels & inspires you (vs. drains & depletes you), I invite you to sign up for a *COMPLIMENTARY* Self-Rescue Toolkit to assess any burnout or self-sabotage you might be struggling with & identify the self-rescue road map that will help you become your very own hero!

When you register for the toolkit, you’ll also receive access to the Brave-Hearted Woman Self-Rescue Community, where you can participate in a free 10-day Self-Rescue Adventure & receive weekly self-rescue guidance on how to master the art of self-rescue so you can create happiness, health & wealth without sacrificing their soul, sanity or health.

Finally, be sure to follow Jess on social media where you’ll receive daily inspiration & support on how to heal & fuel your life so you can embrace your greatness on FacebookTwitterYouTube, or LinkedIn! :)

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