If you’re like most high-capacity woman, you’ve probably become exceptionally skilled at making things happen.

You anticipate. You organize. You solve. You remember. You take responsibility. You keep things moving. 🏃‍♀️

And then you wonder…

How can I set aside time for me to rest and receive when there’s so much to do?

As I talk about extensively in my soon-to-be released book Radical Wholeness, one of the reasons why this is difficult is a result of something I call the Self-Abandonment Trap. 🪤

Often an unconscious trap, this is what happens when a high-capacity woman builds her life around a set of invisible rules that make abandoning herself feel necessary for safety, belonging, success, or stability—rules shaped by early adaptation, reinforced by culture, rewarded by every system she operates in, and eventually mistaken for personality.

Whether you’re conscious of it or not, the performance-based culture we live in doesn’t just reward self-abandonment, it requires it.

The secondary gains we receive for our hard work and accomplishments.

The programming and conditioning that causes us to feel guilty.

The ego patterns that cause us to over-give or over-work to the point of self-sacrifice.

These are just a few reasons why it’s so difficult for women to rest and receive.

But here’s something I’d like you to consider:

You can’t receive what you don’t have the time or the capacity to let in.

Receiving requires space.

And if your life is perpetually filled with doing, managing, producing, fixing, and taking care of everyone else, there’s likely no room left over at the end of the day for the support, pleasure, rest, connection, or the things you say you want more of in your life.

So perhaps learning to receive doesn’t begin with doing more so you don’t have as much to carry later.

Perhaps it begins with doing less.

In one of the chapters of my new book, I actually have an entire chapter dedicated to the importance of learning how to master the art of energy management.

Why?

Because managing our calendar based on time alone is a set up for failure for many of the high-capacity women I work with. 🕰

Time-based math when you’re trying to figure out what to prioritize each day takes into account how many hours you have to manage all of your tasks and responsibilities. It does NOT take into account how much energy or capacity you have to give time to those tasks or carry out those responsibilities.

This is exactly why it’s critical that we learn how to work smarter, not harder!

With this in mind, here are five ways to experiment with doing less so you can receive more:

1. Stop doing what doesn’t actually need to be done.
Not everything that could be done needs to be done by you. Ask yourself: Does this truly need my attention—or am I simply accustomed to taking responsibility for it? Consider what it would be like to stop saying yes to everything out of habit alone.

2. Let someone else do it their way.
Receiving help often means relinquishing control. If someone offers to take something off your plate, resist the urge to supervise, correct, or redo it. Especially if you tend to be a perfectionist, which is an ego pattern that can cause us to unnecessarily fill up our calendar to the point of sacrifice.  

3. Stop filling every empty space.
Leave white space in your calendar between appointments. Don’t immediately jam pack your day and fill every pause. You might be surprised by what becomes available when you’re not constantly moving on to the next thing.

4. Say no before you’re depleted.
Keep in mind that every yes is an expenditure of your finite time and energy. Saying no isn’t withholding yourself from others. Sometimes it’s how you create the capacity and space to receive what you actually need.

5. Practice receiving without reciprocating.
When someone gives you something—a compliment, a gift, their time, their care—try simply saying, “Thank you. I receive that.” You don’t have to immediately give something back.

Doing less isn’t about becoming less generous, less responsible, or less engaged with your life.

It’s about recognizing that your capacity is not an infinite resource.

It’s aboutlearning how to work smart, not hard.

It’s about learning how to say yes to yourself.  

When you stop giving every available ounce of yourself away, something remarkable happens.

You create space and room to come back home to yourself. 🏡

Room to breathe.
Room to feel.
Room to be supported.
Room for pleasure.
Room for desire.
Room for life to give something back to you.

And that’s why receiving is one of the most radical forms of self-rescue there is:

It’s not about doing more to get and achieve more—it’s about creating space so you can finally receive.

And this is exactly we’ll be practicing together at my Radical Wholeness Retreat the first weekend in December (2-6).

You’ll have glorious 4 days and nights of time away that includes plenty of downtime to rest and receive, space to identify and release the patterns that keep you over-functioning and room to reflect on what will increase your capacity to receive from yourself, others, and life more fully.

Because radical wholeness isn’t about becoming better at carrying it all.

It’s about no longer believing you have to carry it all and making the decision to design a life that supports you fully.

If rest, reflection and remembering who you were before the world rewarded you for sacrificing yourself sounds nourishing to you, I’d love for you to join us. 💕

Flexible payment plans, a discount of $198 off when you bring a friend and a bonus of 3 x private self-rescue support sessions when you register early by September 30^th are all available!

The last day to register is November 15^th.

Click 👉 HERE to register and learn more. ✨

And finally, if you’d like to discuss and explore the topic of receiving even further, you’re invited to join me and the other women in my Brave-Hearted Sisterhood during this month’s Wisdom circle happening on Wednesday, 9/16 from 12 – 1 pm MT!

Simply email directly with the word “RECEIVE” and I’ll email you the connection details. ☺️

In gratitude…

Jess Bonasso, also known as The Self Rescue Goddess, is the founder & CEO of Brave Life Consulting, a women-led company committed to the growth, healing & evolution of all women.

After experiencing burnout & a midlife crisis in her early 30’s, Jess committed to her own self-rescue and then later developed the Brave-Hearted Way, a simpler, easier way for high-capacity women to break free from self-abandonment and come back home to themselves without everything falling apart.

Today, she lives a deeply fulfilling life and has a thriving business that empowers women who lead to reclaim their time, energy and emotional bandwidth so they can create well-nourished lives and careers they love.

With over 20 years’ worth of expertise in alternative & mind-body healing, Jess has an in-depth knowledge of the Enneagram personality system and is as an accredited practitioner of The Journey Method®, giving her the trauma-informed expertise & therapeutic skills to support you in unraveling the root cause of anything that stands in the way of your happiness, health, or wealth.